the paranoia with my blood type
i was inside our room in our fish genetics class, patiently listening and absorbing my professor's lecture when my paranoia attacked.
my professor was discussing about blood types when all of a sudden, certain things popped on my mind. it started when she listed the blood types of the parents and the possible blood types of their offsprings. in my family's case, my mother's type A and my father's type B. according to my professor's notes, the possible blood types of the A and B parents are A, B, AB, and O. my two older sisters are types A and B, while i am a type O. very much different from my parents but still on the list of the possible blood types of offspring in an A and B parents.
my professor listed again another table. in this table are the four blood types and the list of blood types that can donate to and receive from on each blood types. since i am a type O, and O being the universal donor, i could donate my blood to any members of my family but if anything happens to me and would need me to have blood transfusion, nobody in my family can donate and share their blood to me. this is because type O individuals can only receive blood from a type O individual only (a vey sad fact). and since i am the only type O, my family would have a difficulty looking for a donor.
so it made me think a "weird" idea: Does having a different blood type from my family connected and related to my feeling of being different from them which makes me conclude that i am the family's black sheep?
why did i thought of this? i really don't know. but sometimes, it makes me feel that i am the black sheep in our family. especially that i lived away from them for how many years now. we can only see each other during vacations like christmas and summer. but still, it's a short time for me to enjoy. maybe spending less time with them while i was growing up is one reason why i really think that i am an outcast. or maybe i just get paranoid sometimes that i thought of being different.
i am honestly longing for my family's time. and during vacations, i always want my family to be complete and that we could spend more time together like going out or even just a simple dinner together.
but my family seems to be so busy especially these days. no body seems to remember me. i feel that nobody seems to care. even just a simple "kumusta ka na?" or "ingat ka lagi dyan" text messages would really brighten my day. but sadly, i am not receiving any of these.
my family's actually my rope to hold on to whenever i feel week and selfless. but sometimes, i feel that they are untying the rope that binds us and letting me go. i don't think it's a way of making me independent because as a matter of fact, i learned to live away from them for almost 7 or 8 years now.
so, does having a different blood type from my family connected and related to my feeling of being different from them which makes me conclude that i am the family's black sheep? or am i just being paranoid?
