...fIshfOrkEEps...

Sunday, August 05, 2007

the paranoia with my blood type

i was inside our room in our fish genetics class, patiently listening and absorbing my professor's lecture when my paranoia attacked.

my professor was discussing about blood types when all of a sudden, certain things popped on my mind. it started when she listed the blood types of the parents and the possible blood types of their offsprings. in my family's case, my mother's type A and my father's type B. according to my professor's notes, the possible blood types of the A and B parents are A, B, AB, and O. my two older sisters are types A and B, while i am a type O. very much different from my parents but still on the list of the possible blood types of offspring in an A and B parents.

my professor listed again another table. in this table are the four blood types and the list of blood types that can donate to and receive from on each blood types. since i am a type O, and O being the universal donor, i could donate my blood to any members of my family but if anything happens to me and would need me to have blood transfusion, nobody in my family can donate and share their blood to me. this is because type O individuals can only receive blood from a type O individual only (a vey sad fact). and since i am the only type O, my family would have a difficulty looking for a donor.

so it made me think a "weird" idea: Does having a different blood type from my family connected and related to my feeling of being different from them which makes me conclude that i am the family's black sheep?

why did i thought of this? i really don't know. but sometimes, it makes me feel that i am the black sheep in our family. especially that i lived away from them for how many years now. we can only see each other during vacations like christmas and summer. but still, it's a short time for me to enjoy. maybe spending less time with them while i was growing up is one reason why i really think that i am an outcast. or maybe i just get paranoid sometimes that i thought of being different.

i am honestly longing for my family's time. and during vacations, i always want my family to be complete and that we could spend more time together like going out or even just a simple dinner together.

but my family seems to be so busy especially these days. no body seems to remember me. i feel that nobody seems to care. even just a simple "kumusta ka na?" or "ingat ka lagi dyan" text messages would really brighten my day. but sadly, i am not receiving any of these.

my family's actually my rope to hold on to whenever i feel week and selfless. but sometimes, i feel that they are untying the rope that binds us and letting me go. i don't think it's a way of making me independent because as a matter of fact, i learned to live away from them for almost 7 or 8 years now.

so, does having a different blood type from my family connected and related to my feeling of being different from them which makes me conclude that i am the family's black sheep? or am i just being paranoid?

Posted at 07:33 pm by celestejoyce
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Saturday, June 02, 2007

pasukan na naman!

oo, malapit na nga ang pasukan! somehow excited naman ako. although, alam ko na kelangan ko na talagang grumaduate this time! mage-eighteen years na ko sa school (kasama na ung nursery and kindergarten), at sobrang nahihiya na ako sa pamilya ko na ako na lang ang nag-aaral samin.

kelangan ko nang grumaduate. marami pa akong pangarap sa buhay ko. kahit na minsan hindi ko alam kung anu-ano yun. basta gusto ko nang makapagtapos nang sa gayon eh mapakinabangan naman ako ng pamilya ko.

ewan ko, pero minsan naiisip ko na isa akong malaking failure sa pamilya ko. kasi nga i was an honor student before. and super expected ng pamilya ko na makakapag tapos ako sa tamang oras. sana nga siguro hindi na lang ako naging honor student. sana hindi na lang ako nagsipag mag-aral dati para at least walang expectations and pressures galing sa pamilya ko.

bilib nga ako sa ate tet ko eh. ever since kasi hindi talaga sya nagpapakita ng sipag sa pag-aaral. i mean nung elementary and high school sya, konteto na sya na nasa passing grade sya. basta walang bagsak, solb! pero nung tumuntong sya ng college, sobrang pinagsisihan nya daw nung makakuha sya ng 3.0. kaya nag-aral na daw sya ng mabuti. naging dean's lister nga yun nung college sya. pero hindi man lang nya pinaalam samin. kahit sakin na lang. ayaw nya raw kasi mag-expect ng sobra-sobra sina mama at papa sa kanya. ayaw nya ng pressure. kasi sya yung tipo na mag-aaral lang kung gusto nya mag-aral, magbabasa lang kung gusto nya magbasa. ayaw nya na may mamimilit sa kanya mag-aral kung wala naman syang gana.

nung kinuwento nya sakin yun, dun ko na lahat-lahat na-realize na tama sya. may punto. kasi diba ganun naman talaga mostly yung mga magulang? minsan hindi nila alam na sobrang pini-pressure na nila yung mga anak nila. ang labas tuloy minsan,na memorize mo,pero wala na yung kung may natutunan ka ba sa nabasa mo.

ayoko na ngayon ipasa ang sisi sa pamilya ko kung bakit hanggang ngayon eh hindi pa ako graduate. alam ko mas malaki ang sisi sa sarili ko kung bakit. siguro dahil masyado lang talaga akong masunuring anak. ewan ko. pero pangarap ko talaga maging engineer. hindi ko masasabing matalino ako sa math kaya ko ginustong maging engineer. dahil passing grade lang din ako sa mga math subjects ko lalo na nung high school. at sa unang pagkakataon sa buhay ko ay nagkaroon ako ng grade na 78! trigonometry, 2nd grading. hinding-hindi ko makakalimutan yun dahil nung tumuntong ako ng college, ni-retake ko ang trigo ko.

ginusto ko lang maging engineer dahil sa title nun kakabit ng pangalan ko. wala lang. para kasing astig kung may Engr. na nakalagay bago ang pangalan ko. hindi ko kasi talaga alam kung ano ang gusto ko nung 4th yr high school ako. basta ang alam ko, gusto ko maging engineer! dalawang entrance exam lang ang kinuhaan ko nung high school ako. UPCAT tsaka PLMAT. pumasa ako sa UPCAT pero hindi sa PLMAT. at kung tama pa nga ang pagkakatanda ko, computer engineering ang 1st choice ko sa PLMAT at communication arts major in journalism ang 2nd choice. sa UPCAT, Diliman ang 1st choice ko na school with computer engineering and ECE as 1st and 2nd choice ko na courses. Visayas naman yung 2nd choice ko na school. computer science tsaka biology. pero ang kurso ko ngayon, BS Aquaculture. masyadong malayo sa pangarap ko.

marami-rami na rin akong kakilala na nagtatanong kung ano nga ba yung kurso ko at kung ano ang magiging trabaho ko pagka graduate ko. minsan napapa-ngiti na lang ako bilang sagot. pero dun sa makukulit na pilit nagtatanong, ito ang sagot ko sa kanila: Fisheries course po yun which deals with inland fisheries. ibig sabihin, yun ang pag-culture ng mga isda sa mga fish ponds and fish tanks. hindi ko alam kung ano exactly ang magiging trabaho ko pero alam kong madaming job opportunities yun lalo na sa ibang bansa!

hindi ko minamaliit ang kurso ko. hinding-hindi ko din sinasabi na mangingisda ang kalalabasan ko. pero naniniwala ako na kung ang mga management at ibang graduates eh maraming napapasukan at nahahanap na trabaho, bilang aquaculture/fisheries student alam kong makakahanap din ako nga maraming trabaho pagka graduate ko dahil naniniwala ako na 60% ng buong mundo ang bumubuo sa yamang-tubig/dagat at 40% ang yamang-lupa. sa laki ng porsyento ng yamang-tubig/dagat malaki din ang porsyento na makakakita agad ako ng trabaho (yan ang kumpiyansa ko sa sarili ko)!

bilang aquaculture student marami akong nalaman tungkol sa mga isda at sa mga indibiwal sa ilalim ng dagat. lalong-lalo na yung mga akala ng iba eh tama pero hindi pala. ngunit hindi lang naman kami tumatalakay tungkol lahat sa isda. syempre meron din namang inter-personal communication between people.

hindi madali ang fisheries. kahit itanong mo pa sa mga grumaduate ng tama sa oras. hinding-hindi nila sasabihin na madali yun lalo na at sa UP nila kinuha yun. isang patunay na rin ang pag-aaral at pagkilala namin ng halos lahat ng uri ng isda, shells at halamang-dagat. at hindi lang basta-basta pangalan nila, scientific name, english name at local/common name ang mga pinag-aaralan namin.

masasabi kong mahirap nga talaga ang maging estudyante. pero kakabit din nito ang excitement na nakukuha ng mga mag-aaral lalo na kung bago sa kanila ang mga bagay-bagay. siguro na passion and commitment nga talaga ang kelangan para makapagtapos ako.

Posted at 04:15 pm by celestejoyce
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Monday, February 19, 2007

a great weekend

i had a great great weekend! went to cebu for a field trip para sa fish 116 (hatchery management) and fish 115 (fish nutrition), so kamusta naman?? masaya kahit nakakapagod, enjoy! at busog! tumaas ata ang protein content ng katawan ko. hehehe.. sarap ng mga isda! bangus tsaka grouper! yummm!! too bad nga lang, wala ni isa samin ng mga kasama ko ang nakapagdala ng camera. huh! talk about being poor! hehehe..

so pagkadating na pagkadating ng cebu, derecho agad kami ng Carcar. punta kami sa Oversea Feeds Corp fish ponds. ang lawak-lawak ng fish pond nila dun. tas punta din kami sa floating cages ng Oversea. sakay kami ng pump boat papunta dun mga floating cages. halos bangus and grouper pa rin yung kinu-culture nila dun. dami nga eh. ang yaman talaga ni Mr. Co!

after sa fish pond, derecho naman kami ng feed mill located in San Fernando, Cebu. Oversea pa rin and pag aari pa rin ni Mr. Co. tas ang laki ng feed mill nila. i found out na yung B-Meg pala ng San Miguel eh and Oversea ang gumagawa ng mga fish feeds nila. sa B-Meg lang ang raw materials tska sila na rin ang nagbibigay ng feed formulation ng feeds nila, tas Oversea lang ang nagpo-process tska nagawa ng feeds. kasi yung feeds ng Oversea, limited lang sa fish at prawn. unlike sa B-Meg and Tateh, meron din sila para sa swine and poultry.

after sa feed mill, punta na kami sa hatchery which is located naman sa Minglanilla, Cebu. so doon na ang stop namin and dun din kami natulog. medyo marami yung works sa hatchery. although mostly na ginawa naman namin eh nag observed lang. kasi enough naman yung mga workers nila dun. tsaka sa sobrang bilis nila gumawa, eh baka abutin kami ng bukas kung tutulong pa kami. basically, nag feed lang naman kami ng mga sabalo (spawners na bangus) tsaka ng groupers. tas nag observe ng mga routinary works nila. eh may mga orders din sila ng penaeus tska ng bangus fry. kaya todo observe naman kami. tas dun sa last na order ng peneaus, pina try na nila kami kung pano yung packing nila. bale estimate lang nila kung ilang fry yun. pero binibilang kada isa tas estimate lang nila yung nilalagay sa malaking palanggana.

after sa hatchery, nagliwaliw na kami sa cebu city! we went to mactan airport, then sa lapu-lapu shrine, tas sa magellan's cross (atlast nakapunta din ako!) and sa taoist temple! yun yung mga lugar na halos iyakan ko sa mama ko na mapuntahan namin sa cebu! hahaha!!

medyo bitin muna kwento ko ha? gotta go na eh.

Posted at 09:12 pm by celestejoyce
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Friday, January 19, 2007

BEST EXPLANATION EVER!

i got this on my email sent by my friend. This is one of the best explanations of why God allows pain and suffering that I have seen:

A man went to a barbershop to have his hair cut and his beard trimmed. As the barber began to work, they began to have a good conversation. They talked about so many things and various subjects. When they eventually touched on the subject of God, the barber said:

"I don't believe that God exists."

"Why do you say that?" asked the customer.

"Well, you just have to go out in the street to realize that God doesn't exist. Tell me, if God exists, would there be so many sick people? Would there be abandoned children? If God existed, there would be neither suffering nor pain. I can't imagine a loving God who would allow all of these things."

The customer thought for a moment, but didn't respond because he didn't want to start an argument. The barber finished his job and the customer left the shop.

Just after he left the barbershop, he saw a man in the street with long, stringy, dirty hair and an untrimmed beard. He looked dirty and unkempt.

The customer turned back and entered the barber shop again and he said to the barber:

"You know what? Barbers do not exist."

"How can you say that?" asked the surprised barber.

"I am here, and I am a barber. And I just worked on you!"

"No!" the customer exclaimed. "Barbers don't exist because if they did, there would be no people with dirty long hair and untrimmed beards, like that man outside."

"Ah, but barbers DO exist! That's what happens when people do not come to me."

"Exactly!" affirmed the customer. "That's the point! God, too, DOES exist! That's what happens when people do not go to Him and don't look to Him for help. That's why there's so much pain and suffering in the world."

Posted at 11:17 am by celestejoyce
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Monday, January 15, 2007

busy-busihan

i am in front of a computer right now searching about the background questions for our F150 class (Aquatic Resources Management). di ko pa natatapos ung search ko, that's why i decided to update my blog since 2 times pa lang ako nakapag update since nagpalit ako ng address.

anyway, last week ko pa gustong-gusto mag internet para nga mag update ng blog ko. but then, i am (still) on a financial crisis. i just decided to search the net kasi nga kelangan sa class. medyo tamad ako mag search sa library eh.

so, talking about me, wala namang something new eh. i always thinking na there's nothing really exciting about my life. i just want to blog. next time ko na lng ilalagay yung about myself. di ko pa kasi tapos isulat eh. hehehe..

oh, before i forgot, hal and i just celebrated our 11 months together. and we're looking forward for our 1 year next month. wow! parang ambilis ng panahon. honestly, sya na yung pinakamatagal sa mga naging past relationships ko. and i am really blessed having him in my life. next time na rin ako magku-kwento about sa min.

gotta go!

Posted at 05:39 pm by celestejoyce
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Sunday, December 31, 2006

HAPPY HAPPY NEW YEAR!

happy new year folks!

wow naman! as in new year na maya-maya lang. and since new year nga so new blog address na to. at bagong blog although medyo ganun pa rin naman. hehehe. (do i make sense here??)

anyway, ano ba meron? wala naman. right now nasa laguna po ako. dito sa house ng uncle/ninong ko. i don't know the exact reason kung bat dito kami magse-celebrate ng new year. but then, ok naman kasi nga free internet use! hahaha!

so kamusta naman ang bakasyon? ahmm.. im not enjoying every single moment of it. baket kanyo?? aba! eh ikaw ba naman ang laging nakikita sa bahay nyo, mag-eenjoy kaba? sayo lagi ang utos! tsaka ngayong year lang ako nakapag bakasyon sa manila kasi nga nung summer eh nasa samar ako. tas nung sembreak, nasa negros ako. tas ngayon nga lang ako nakapagbakasyon, pero parang hindi ako enjoy. ewan ko ba. siguro dahil a part of me misses someone! hahaha!

kamusta naman ang 2006 sakin? masaya na malungkot na ewan. masaya kasi nga ahm.. let just say na naging super saya nga ang umpisa ng taon ko. naging makulay nga at puno ng buhay. if di nyo masyado ma-gets, well lets put it this way, i finally received the greatest gift God had ever given me. tas summer was a whole lots of fun! i went to eastern samar for my practicum together with my seven schoolmates. it was all new experience. first time ko kasing pumunta ng cebu eh. tas syempre first time din sa samar! i've been to guiuan eastern samar ang catbalogan western part naman ng samar yun. basta ang saya-saya. im still hoping i can get back there someday to claim my pearl in the pearl island. hahaha! i really missed those times na nagsno-snorkel kame and seeing the beauty and those great masterpieces underwater was really fun! snorkel na nga lang ang sarap na ng feeling what more pa kaya ang diving? i wish to be able to do it again before i die. hahaha! malungkot naman siguro in a way na malapit na nga matapos yung taon. tas andami-dami na naming away namin ni hal. ewan, siguro nga because malayo kami with each other right now. but i know we'll settle this pag nagkita na ulit kami.

anyway, im hoping na ngayong darating na 2007 eh maging mas fruitful pa samin ni hal and most especially sa studies namin.

HAPPY HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!

Posted at 10:54 pm by celestejoyce
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Wednesday, December 13, 2006

not really new

after a year, ngayon ko lang uli na buksan ang blog ko. anyway, this is not really new. bago lng ung address ko but as you can see, ganun pa rin naman yung content.

anyway, next time na lng ako magku-kwento. for the mean time, ganito lng muna sya.. okies??

Posted at 01:47 am by celestejoyce
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